Thursday, March 12, 2009

Pet diaryes

Dog’s Diary

8:00 a.m. - Food time! My favorite thing!
9:30 a.m. - Car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 a.m. - Walk in park! My favorite thing!
10:30 a.m. - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 p.m. - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 p.m. - Played in yard! My favorite thing!
5:00 p.m. - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 p.m. - Played ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 p.m. - Watched TV with family! My favorite thing!
11:00 p.m. - Sleeping on bed! My favorite thing!

Cat’s Diary

Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to haunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hashor some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for their actionsperfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up mystrength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt todisgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped it’s headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearlydemonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescendingcomments about what a “good little hunter” I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed insolitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hearthe noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due tothe power of “allergies”. I must learn what this means, and how to use it tomy advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of mytormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try thisagain tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems tobe more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the captorsregularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors havearranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe….for now…

1 comment: